Short but sweet.
The opposite of an abusive family is not a perfect one: going for perfection is just as painful as direct abuse. Admitting you’re only human and committing to deal with your issues removes the need to oscillate between the phase of control (over whichever compulsive behavior you use as a substitute for dealing with unpleasant emotions) and release (when you succumb to that behavior). The control-release cycle deepens the shame, and shame is an excellent fuel for the cycle.
If you’re curious about what a normal family relationship is and what you can do instead of the things you usually do, I’d recommend you read this book.
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